Love, Sex and Laundry

New publication name, same mission.

Hey Team,

If you scroll to the bottom of this article, I’ve shared a podcast episode myself and my wife

Kat River

recorded on SEX in parenthood. But before you do that, I’d love to share with you some updates and the mission behind this publication on Substack (And straight to your email.)

They say if you want to become masterful at something, give yourself the responsibility of teaching it.

That’s what I did with the topic of relationships 9 years ago. It became clear to me that fulfilling relationships were the hallmark of a life well lived. And most people found them really challenging, especially once they became parents.

It seemed most parents split not long after kids came along, or they waited until their kids graduated high school (that was my experience) or the just stuck it out but weren’t all that stoked on the situation.

I decided I was going to figure this relationship thing out,

“master it”

and share what I learn with others.

I didn’t fully realise what I was signing up for.

There’s been many initiations, challenges and humbling moments along the way.

None moreso than in the season of parenthood.

Parenthood offers a special kind of humility. Especially when it comes to relationships.

We can have things dialled in pre-parenthood but once those pooping, crying overstimulating bundles of joy arrive - shit gets real.

Old wounds surface.

Nervous systems get strained.

Sleep deprivation creeps in.

The tests start coming and they don’t stop coming.

The person that we decided to create a family with all of a sudden starts to feel like competition.

As though it’s our needs vs their needs.

Us vs them.

We feel like we’re losing them. We can feel like we’re losing ourselves.

It’s confronting.

Intimacy, connection and joy can be replaced with resentment, frustration and distance.

What I’ve come to realise is that for your relationship to not just survive parenthood but thrive during this season (because it can) - you need to become a relational ninja.

You need to expand the tool kit.

You need to equip yourselves with some new skills.

This is where Love, Sex and Laundry comes in.

This is a free publication that will be a blend of written articles, videos and audio podcasts shared with the intention of supporting you to cultivate and maintain a secure, connected and intimate relationship - even if you’re in the depths of parenthood challenges.

This is a space to have the conversations that often get kept behind closed doors.

It’s a space to explore the Science AND the Art of Thriving Relationships.

It’s also a space where I’ll be sharing different workshops and programs that I’ve created for those that want to dive deeper. Soon we have my signature Relationship Mastery opening its doors, which has held hundreds and hundreds of couples, and therefore families. Later this year we’ll have a Relationship Coaching Certification happening, which has been knocking for a long while and I’m stoked to be bringing it to life for all those of you who are interested in serving others with this work.

I’ve had the unique privilege of working with thousands of couples in many capacities, to hear the depths of their challenges and one thing I can say for certain is that no matter what obstacles you’re facing currently - you’re not alone in it.

Part of my mission is not just to normalise the fact that these challenges exist, it’s to help you understand exactly

• Why they exist in the first place

• Then support you to move through them in empowered and holistic ways, together.

I believe that doing the hard work required to develop a connected and secure intimate relationship with our partner is the best thing we can do to set our kids up for success. It’s the heart of the home. The pulse of the family unit.

So to all the parents out there putting in the hard yards, leaning in when you're tempted to bail, being willing to step back in the room and explore your own wounds so it doesn’t spill into your relationship and family

- I salute you and I hope you find the insights that I share through this publication supportive.

Big love,

Tully

PS

This is a special episode where I sit down and chat with my wife

Kat River

about easily the most requested topic we get asked to speak about.

Sex in parenthood.

We grabbed a coffee, and sat down to record a casual chat. No notes or structure but hope you guys enjoy this style of podcast.

We share a lot of our personal experience as well as drawing from the experience of working with hundreds of couples over the last few years.

If you’re new here: You can subscribe for free to have Love Sex and Laundry land straight in your email inbox.

If you’re already reading this in your email inbox, I highly recommend downloading the Substack app to have a more relaxed user experience - especially with the podcasts and video content. You can also subscribe to other writers and creators on the platform and curate your own little library. You’ll also be able to participate in community conversations in both the chat and comment sections of my work. I’d love to have you join in this way.