The Love Tank

Is yours full or empty?

The relationship “Love Tank”.
 
We’ve all got one and when the tank is empty we enter the red zone - easily triggered, defensive, resentful, judgemental etc.
 
You know, all the fun stuff that makes relationships amazing 😉  
 

When the tank is “full” we have far more patience, tolerance and empathy - naturally.

Here’s how it works. When the tank is empty and a comment gets made/action is taken that triggers us - we focus only on that thing INSTEAD of exploring why we were so easily triggered.
 
And we’re often easily trigger when the love tank is empty.
 
Think about it. When you’re feeling fully loved, appreciated, respected and well f#$%ed - those comments and little behaviours aren’t nearly as triggering, if at all.
 
So I huge part of the solution is to focus on filling the love tank rather than going crazy bouncing back and forth about a particular comment/action. Sometimes that needs addressing as well. But 9 time sout of 10 when we zoom out and take a broader look at things, we’re going to come up with a more effective solution.
 
The “issue” is rarely the actual issue, as I often say. The little thing we’re going back and forth is is rarely the ACTUAL issue. Why we’re so easily triggered is more of the issue.
 
So how do you fill the love tank?
 
Well, what are the things that make you feel loved, appreciated, respected, connected and desired?

Make a list. Share it with each other. Commit to filling those tanks.

It’s common that what fills the love tank for one person might be different to the other. So ensure this discussion is taking place to make sure you’re both getting your tank filled up

One thing to explore is what both of you Love Languages are.

The common low hanging fruit is genuine acknowledgement and appreciation, as well as present touch. You can escape human biology. A 6 second kiss and/or a 20 second cuddle has been shown to release oxytocin and other neurochemicals the fill your tank and quite literally act as a buffer against stress.

So rather than getting caught in the weeds on various meaningless arguments, prioritise filling each others love tanks and watch the dynamic in your relationship shift.

Big love, Tully

PS: Very soon I’ll be offering the biggest discount/promotion I’ve ever done on the Liberating Love Relationship Mastery Program. CLICK HERE to join the waitlist to make sure you don’t miss it.