Hey legends,
Today, I thought it'd be a great opportunity to delve into a topic that's been on my mind lately, spurred by some insightful discussions in my recent Liberating Love QnA calls with both the men and women.
One thing that struck me during these sessions is how often men underestimate the impact of breaches in integrity with their word on their relationships. Sure, if you were to ask any guy whether integrity with their word matters, they'd likely nod in agreement. But here's the kicker: it's not just about acknowledging its importance; it's about understanding its profound impact, even in seemingly small breaches.
So, how does this lack of integrity manifest?
It can happen in a couple of ways.
The firs is quite simple: failing to follow through on promises/commitments, big or small. From taking out the bins to handling life admin, every unfulfilled commitment chips away at trust.
Then there's the issue of saying yes when we really mean no. This one is more layered but can be having a deeper impact. This especially rings true for those stuck in the people-pleasing cycle, where the fear of disappointing others outweighs our own needs and boundaries.
But why does this matter so much? Because every broken promise, every empty yes, erodes the foundation of trust in a relationship. It creates a subtle undercurrent of doubt and resentment that can sabotage intimacy and connection over time. And believe me, I've seen it happen.
So, what's the remedy? It starts with rebuilding trust in ourselves. By honoring our commitments, no matter how trivial, we not only regain our partner's trust but also our own. Start small, celebrate each accomplishment, and watch as self-assurance grows.
Next up, it's time to tackle the root of people-pleasing behaviors and reclaim our ability to say no. Yes, it'll feel uncomfortable at first, and there may be pushback from those accustomed to our accommodating ways. But remember, short-term convenience often leads to long-term discontent.
Another key shift is in our communication habits. Less talk, more action. Instead of verbalizing every intention, let our actions speak louder. And when we do commit verbally, let's schedule it. “If you say it, schedule it”. This simple step prevents forgetfulness and reinforces accountability.
But perhaps the most crucial aspect of navigating integrity in relationships is the willingness to communicate and repair breaches. Life is unpredictable, and plans often change. By openly addressing these shifts and renegotiating commitments as a team, we foster understanding and deepen trust.
Now, I understand this journey isn't easy. It requires patience, self-reflection, and mutual support. But trust me when I say the rewards are worth it. As we cultivate integrity within ourselves and our relationships, we pave the way for deeper connection, mutual respect, and lasting intimacy.
So, whether you're the people-pleaser or partnered with one, let's embark on this journey together. Share your experiences, insights, and struggles. Let's learn from each other and grow as individuals and as partners.
And fellas, if you're keen for more on this topic and other important ones, join me in exploring the Five Pillars of Thriving in Fatherhood in an upcoming free training session (details below).
Big love,
Tully
A few other things:
1: Register for my Free training: 5 Pillars of Thriving in Fatherhood - (Tues 2nd April @ 7:30pm AEST (QLD time)
2: Join my free group for Dads committed to building exceptional lives for themselves and their families - Click here to join The Thriving Dad Dojo.
3: To dive deeper as a couple, click here to join the waitlist for Liberating Love Relationship Mastery
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